Ok, I need to relax now. There is only so much
one can do before school starts without killing yourself. Why do I feel I’m not
ready? What am I waiting for? Will I ever feel ready? I think it’s time to let
go, take a deep breath and plunge into my new life chapter. I know my biggest
challenge with the Midwifery Program will be letting go of control. Control of
my time, my house, my family…. I need to trust that the world will not stop if
I suddenly disconnect from it and submerge myself into Midwifery. I’m sure I’ll be fine once I start the
program, but the anticipation of these last few days is hard to bear. In 3 days I will be walking into the
McMaster University building as a midwifery student. It feels like waiting to
go on a roller-coaster ride. After waiting in line for what feels like forever
you begin the long way up. Up the track, Ka-klink-ka-klink-ka-klink-ka-klink.
That’s been my summer. As I now sit at the top, I’m taking a pause to admire
the view and look how far I have come. It has been a long ride up here. The
scenery is beautiful, and it promises an astonishing ride, but I’m scared. I
feel a mix of excitement and fear; what a paradox! My
heart is pumping hard, and I realize I’m holding my breath. I know that any
time now it will feel like the bottom is dropping out from under me and
everything in my life will have suddenly changed. I’m about to find out how
strong I am and how resilient my family is.
I’m looking forward to the wind blowing my hair
even though the speed will increase by the second. I know there will be highs
and lows, dips and turns and times where everything is upside down, but the
excitement rushes through me like the water in a river. This is the biggest and
scariest ride I have taken. I can’t wait to hear the screams of all 30 of us as
we embark in this breath-taking ride, yet I’m the most scared I have ever been. As
I let the panic settle in and savor every bit of it I say, “Let the adventure
begin!”
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