Time

The perception of time is an interesting one. How I feel about time is changing as I journey through the midwifery program. Contrary to one might think, as I advance through the program I feel less of an urgency to graduate. I am getting more patient and trusting that it will happen. It is time again to go back to school and even though I am excited that I will be going into my second year of the MEP, and thus one year closer to becoming a midwife, I feel time is passing too fast. Maybe this feeling lies in the certainty that I will become a midwife, and the doubt I used to have of ever being accepted into the program  is gone. Even though I said before that I didn’t really enjoy the first year of the program, I am getting more excited about the imminent second year. I am determined to enjoy the process of becoming a midwife and don’t want this experience to slip between my fingers.

This year I turned forty, and as I look back on what I have done with my life thus far, I can say with certainty that even though I often dreamed about and planned the future, I have also enjoyed and lived the moment. I do dream of being a midwife, but being a midwifery student is also part of my life and I don’t want to miss fully experiencing it in expectation of the end result. Much like experiencing pregnancy and labor (or the adoption process as with adoptive parents) is an important part of preparing for motherhood, the time taken to become a midwife will influence and form my attitudes about being a midwife. Some people believe that what is important is the end result, and how you get there does not matter. I don’t agree with this statement. The process of gaining or achieving something is part of how you relate to “that something”.  

Hopefully this coming semester will be filled with much excitement as I learn skills for my first placement, and I will try to share as much as I can about this experience and how it is shaping the midwife I will become.